Pink NUT Day

Lydia and David

      David and Lydia attend a small Catholic school where the students wear uniforms.  Every so often they have a NUT Day (No Uniform Today).  The students donate $2 for a NUT pass which they then give to a charity. 
      David and Lydia asked their prinicpal if they could have a "Pink NUT Day" for Breast Cancer Awareness.  They gave all the students and teachers pink rubber bracelets. 
      They gave the money they raised to my doctor's research at the IU Simon Cancer Center. Here are some pictures of these awesome kids!  You can also see their picture on Indiana University Melvin and Bren Simon Cancer Center's Facebook page.

Thank you St. John's!!!

 

A Pink Gift from My Wonderful Children

Today, my children gave me a special gift that I am so excited to share.  They asked their soccer teams to "Go Pink" for Breast Cancer Awareness and for me.  I want to share these wonderful pictures of all of these special kids!  I was so moved and proud of these kids...especially so many middle school boys. 



My Godson made his own water bottle label.

I am so blessed...
blessed to have five amazing children and blessed that we have so many caring friends. 
I have an infusion this Thursday, so I will not be able to make next weekend's soccer games. Thank you to all of you who made today's games special!!!


My awesome sister-in-law, Brandi and two of my nephews

Everything is Not Okay

One of my favorite television shows is Parenthood.  For those of you who might be unfamiliar with the show, it is a wonderful drama which revolves around the three generations of the Braverman family; Zeek and Camille Braverman and their four children and eight grandchildren.  I love how this show touches on so many different issues of being a parent as well as being a son or daughter, a sibling, or even an aunt or uncle.  I feel like most families can probably relate to something going on in the Braverman family.

In last week's episode, without any previews' warning, they slipped in breast cancer. In the last scene, as Christine is getting a mammogram, I knew immediately where they were going with this storyline.  They played Naked As We Came by Iron and Wine as you watch Christine's reactions as her doctor gives her the bad news, and then as she tells her husband Adam. 

I have to say that this was really quite emotional for me to watch. Because you could only hear the song and not the conversations the characters were having, you were left with your own imagination.  This brought quite a rush of emotions and memories to ran through my head as I was watching.  But I am excited that they are doing this storyline, and I hope that they do a good job portraying the reality of it. I'm feeling like it will be after reading this interview with Monica Potter who plays Christine, Monica Potter Shares the Shocking Story Behind Parenthood's Devastating Twist.

So if you get a chance, watch tonight's episode is called "Everything is Not Okay" on NBC at 10:00 pm EST...or on NBC.com or Hulu tomorrow.
Good title Parenthood...Because when you have breast cancer, okay seems to have a new meaning, and everything is not okay! 

The Cancer Card...If You've Got It, Play It

 

   The story of my Cancer Card begins several weeks ago at a high school football game that our local high school played down at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis.  Because we were two small high schools, we had great seats down in the lowest section.  My friend Merilee was there as well, but sitting with the opposing team. Why she was sitting with the opposing team is a long story within itself...so we will skip that part. 
   Close to half time, Merilee called to see where I was sitting.  After a few minutes of confusing conversation and awkward and embarassing attempts to wave at each other across the stadium, we found that we were sitting directly across from each other on the 40 yard line.  I tell her I will walk over to see her during half time. I joke that I should get walking because it looks like it would take a good 20 minutes to walk over there as Lucas Oil is huge!  Merilee's reply, "There is no need to walk all the way around!  Just go down to the 40 yard line and hold up your Cancer Card.  They will stop this game and let you walk on straight across the field!"  Well, needless to say, I opted to walk all the way around!
   The Cancer Card quickly became the joke among my friends about how I could get out of things or get special treatment. As you can see if the picture above, my friend Melissa awarded me my Cancer Card today. Now of course, this is all just in fun.  There have to be "Upsides" to having cancer, right? First of all if you have the Cancer Card then rightfully, it is yours to play. Secondly, I can't find any published guidelines for whether it is appropriate or not, so therefore, it must be!  
   In the game of Life...ooops wrong game...Canceropoly it is the "get out of jail free" card. You could easily try to use it to get out of a speeding ticket.  Maybe even hang a large one on your back car window to cut through traffic.  You could always use it at work...to come in late, leave early, or even just take the day off. Maybe it would be handy to cut in the long lines at the grocery checkouts. 
   At home, you could use it to take a nap. How about to get out of helping the kids with homework, cooking dinner or even doing laundry?  The possibilities are endless!
   What about someone's birthday or anniversary that you forgot?  The late fee on the credit card bill you forgot to pay this month. You get invited someplace you really don't want to go. It can even get you out of an awkward conversation, or maybe a conversation you didn't want to be in the first place.
    I just got a notification for jury duty...hmm, can I send them a picture of my Cancer Card with my paperwork?
   There are, of course, many legitimate, good uses for the Cancer Card.  You are given a special opportunity to see just how many great friends and family members you really do have.  You get to look at life from a whole new perspective.  You get a chance to make yourself spend more quality time with your kids and hug them a little tighter each day.  Sometimes reminding myself that I have cancer has, so far, been the best way to cut myself some slack, slow down, and accept help from others.
   So I would like to give everyone a free pass on my Cancer Card. Go ahead, give it a swipe, cut yourself a break, hug someone extra tight, and enjoy doing something selfishly for you today.

It's Good to be King

I lost my dear friend, Karen King, to cancer last night.
     Karen was an amazing woman whom I truly admired.  We started with a working relationship that turned into a fun, adventurous friendship. The thing I loved about her was that she was always a bit mysterious. And the more I hung out with her, the more she would share with me.  Fascinating stories that were always humorous and fun.  My friend Abbie said it well for many of us..."Karen, you will live in infamy as the most badass woman I have ever know."  She touched many this way.  When Karen got an idea in her head, look out because she was doing it. She wasn't backing down. She believed that women could do anything and so empowered many of us! 
     Karen and I share a story together; one that started out very similar in the beginning, but unfortunately had a very different ending. When I went to get my mammogram, I was sitting in the waiting room of the Radiology area.  Next thing I know, here comes Karen.  She plops down next to me, and we both ask each other.."What the hell are you doing here?"  There were plenty of people sitting around us so we both had the same quiet answer of "running some tests."  Karen was called back first.  Later that day, she called me and said, "Well of course, they weren't ready for me after all and sent me back out to the waiting room. I was heading back to where you and I were sitting, and would you believe there were two old women sitting there that took our seats?!"  She had no idea what a horrible appointment I had just had, and she had no idea how great it was that she was able to make me laugh. 


Karen and me at my Mad Men themed 40th Birthday Party

     About a week later, I was in the process of letting people know that I had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  I had tried to call Karen and left her a voicemail to call me.  Later that day when she returned my call, she said she had something she needed to talk to me about. I told her I did too. She went on to explain that they had found a tumor in her colon that was probably cancer, and she would need surgery as soon as possible. In turn, I told her my unfortunate news. We were both shocked to be sharing these stories with each other on the very same day.  And because we both began dealing with each other's news with humor, we joked that maybe we could just have surgery on the same day, and we could be roomies. Wouldn't it be so fun to drive those nurses crazy!?  Until her surgery, Karen and I talked or shared texts, checking in on each other almost everyday. Unfortunately, Karen's story took a different turn than mine.                                                                                   

     After surgery, Karen's kidneys stopped working. After a couple weeks of dialysis, they never regained function.  The surgery revealed that her tumor was cancer, and it had spread to her liver as well.  A couple days ago, Karen decided to stop the painful dialysis. 
     I went to see her two nights ago.  She was able to stay awake for a wonderful ten minute conversation that I will never forget.  She immediately wanted to know about me and my cancer and my treatments. She told me over and over to just beat it...beat my cancer.  As I promised her that I would, she just smiled as she started to fall asleep. 
    
I am so thankful that God blessed me with a chance to say goodbye.  

So, Karen King, this is in memory of you! 
Love you!

It's Good to be King by Tom Petty
It's good to be king, if just for a while
To be there in velvet, yeah, to give 'em a smile
It's good to get high and never come down
It's good to be king of your own little town
Yeah, the world would swing if I were king
Can I help it if I still dream time to time
It's good to be king and have your own way
Get a feeling of peace at the end of the day
And when your bulldog barks and your canary sings
You're out there with winners, it's good to be king
Yeah I'll be king when dogs get wings
Can I help it if I still dream time to time
It's good to be king and have your own world
It helps to make friends, it's good to meet girls
A sweet little queen who can't run away
It's good to be king, whatever it pays
Excuse me if I have some place in my mind
Where I go time to time

My Journey Beyond the Shock

    I titled this blog My Journey Beyond the Shock because once the true shock of this news hits you, you have to immediately start moving forward. There is no time to waste. After I found out I had cancer, I stumbled upon this wonderful, well-done video called Beyond the Shock. It is divided into chapters, but it doesn't take very long to watch. It begins by explaining basic breast anatomy, then breast cancer, diagnosis, types & stages, and treatments. If you are interested in learning more about breast cancer or know someone who may be about to face this battle, this is a great link! 

    
What hospital do I go to?
     I go to the Indiana University Melvin & Bren Simon Cancer Center in Indianapolis where I have an outstanding medical team.  My Surgeon is Linda Han, M.D., and my Oncologist is Kathy Miller, M.D.  These two doctors and their amazing staff have given me such personal attention that sometimes they make me feel like I am their only patient. That just doesn't happen very often. I have only known these women for less than a month, and I feel like I have known them for years.  I have contact numbers for their RN's which allows me to contact them anytime I have a question or concern. And I never have to wait all day for an answer.  I have been truly blessed with the best medical team for me!

What type of cancer do I have? 
     I will do my best to explain this as I understand it.  I have two areas of cancer in one breast.  The first area is called Ductal Carcinoma in Situ or DCIS.  This is a non-invasive stage zero cancer that is still contained within the milk ducts and has not spread to any surrounding tissue.  The second area is a 2 cm. tumor that is Invasive Ductal Carcinoma or IDC.  This is a stage 1 cancer that has broke and spread out of the milk ducts.  Fortunately, my cancer has not spread into my lymph nodes. 
     Cancer cell growth is often fueled by healthy chemicals in the body.  My cancer cells are Estrogen positive and HER2 positive which means that they have receptors that feed on my estrogen and HER2/neu protein causing them to grow very rapidly.  Before May 2005, this type of breast cancer was one of the worst types to have, as they did not know how to stop its rapid growth.  Since May 2005, continued successful research has made this the best breast cancer to have.  As my husband, Ben often says, "Only the best for you honey." We had to chuckle when we heard that I had the best one!

What is my treatment plan? 
     I am excited to say that I met all of the qualifications to be in a new clinical study. As soon as my doctor begin telling me about the study, I knew in my heart that I was supposed to do it. As I was explaining my option of doing this trial or not to a friend, she said, "I think it sounds like you have already made your decision."  Fortunately, I have been given an opportunity to use my unfortunate cancer to help this extraordinary continued research and improve the future treatments of HER2+ and Estrogen+ breast cancer for the next group of women who are diagnosed and for the future of our daughters.
     Most people are more familiar with treating breast care by having surgery, then radiation, and finally Chemo treatments.  The trial I am taking part in has me doing neoadjuvant treatment, which is treatment you receive before surgery. So last Thursday, I began my treatments. Every three weeks, I will have an infusion of Heceptin, which is similar to chemo therapy but with much less severe side effects, along with several medications I take daily. I will then wait to have surgery 24 weeks into the treatment, which will be sometime in February.
     The only way to restrict the HER2+ and Estrogen+ cancer growth is to inhibit the cancer’s “food supply” by blocking the cancer cells receptors. The Herceptin and another daily medication block the HER2 receptors on cancer cells while another pill blocks the estrogen receptors.
 


Now for the final question...
What is the difference between this pea and this grape? 

If the treatments are working, the cancer cells are shrinking and dying.  So, is it working?  Take a look!  After just one week of treatment, my tumor which was 2 centimeters, the size of the grape is now 7 millimeters, the size of the pea! 
Yes, the treatments and all of your prayers are working!!! :)  Let's kill some more cancer!

   

The Roller Coaster

I have always loved roller coasters.  Ben and our five kids love them too. We are the family who can't wait to ride every roller coaster in every park that we visit! Ben and I started the kids on them as soon as they were tall enough. Many times, one of us had to console them as they cried if they weren't tall enough. Now, there is one roller coaster at Holiday World that I do not like. I believe it is called the Voyage. This wooden roller coaster seems like it is never going to end.  It shakes and rattles my head to the point I can hardly stand it. Suddenly, on July 30th, I found myself sitting on a roller coaster, much like the Voyage, only this one had a few added surprise loops and corkscrews.  

I had read my radiology report from July 30th.  I knew that the only positive thing that I could find on the report was that my lymph nodes looked normal. On Friday, August 3rd, I went to get two biopsies. The first one was performed using an ultrasound to get a sample of the area around the lump. This was actually interesting to watch on the screen and pretty much painfree. The second one was a stereotactic biopsy to test the area of branching calcifications.   This one...well, let's just say that it was my least favorite procedure throughout this whole process so far.

The waiting is the hardest part. The days drag by so slowly; all the while the roller coaster is racing down the track.  There is one good thing about a roller coaster. You always have an open seat next to you, and there was always someone in that seat next to me. At the time, very few people knew what I was going through, but you know who you are, and I am forever grateful that you rode with me. And when it wasn't one of them, it was always Jesus riding with me, reminding me that I could do this.

I did not get my first call until Tuesday, August 7th at 5:40 pm.   You know deep down inside that the doctor is going to say the word malignant when you answer the phone. Even though in your mind you know that it is coming; it still hits you like a tons of bricks.  As I walked along the porch, it dropped me to a sitting position. At first, I wasn’t even sure what he was saying, but I knew he wasn’t saying the word benign! When these phone calls come, you have to make yourself focus even when it is the hardest thing to do. The stereotactic biopsy report was complete. It showed that the area with the branching calcifications was DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma in Situ.  I just sat there on my porch and waited until my husband got home so I could fall into his arms.

About an hour after the phone call, I went to pick up my 8 year old daughter, Lydia, from my sister-in-law. As we were switching things from one car to the next, I was admiring how cute Twilla had braided Lydia’s hair. It was in three beautiful, perfect French braids that met in the back and were then braided together. I said, “Wow Lydia, I wish I could braid your hair like that.” She looked up at me with her big brown eyes, and as if she knew, she says, “Oh Mom, you can do anything. You just need to believe in yourself!” What an odd thing for her to say, about braids! If she only knew what that meant to me at that moment, and how those words would come back to me over and over throughout this whole process.

The roller coaster whirled on.  The next day, August 8th, I received the second phone call with results from my other biopsy of the lump.  Again, I found myself buried under a ton of bricks as the doctor explained that the lump was IDC, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. So now all of my worst fears had come true.  I am 41 years old and the mother of 5 kids who need me;  and now, I was going to have to tell them and everyone that I loved that I had cancer.

How to Prepare for a Mammogram

Maxine says...

For me, the ability to laugh at something is really the best way to get my anxiety off my chest. So when I found this, I knew I had to post it.  Now listen to me...a mammogram is NOT as horrible as this makes it sound. I promise! But nonetheless, I recommend reading this right before your next mammogram.  Then hopefully, right in the middle of having it done, these exercises will pop into your head and make you start laughing. 

HOW TO PREPARE FOR A MAMMOGRAM
 Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, and even if they have had them before, there is fear. But there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat (just in case the first time wasn't effective).
EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides, and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends against either side of one of your breasts and smash the bookends together as hard as he/she can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year to do it again. You are now properly prepared!
(Thanks to HysterSisters.com)

Remember my friends...step one is to schedule the mammogram.  Just contact me if you have questions!

The Second Smashing

I went to get my 6 month follow-up mammogram on July 30th.  Did I have time?  Of course not!  We have already been through this... no one has time or the desire.  I scheduled it over my lunch hour because I figured I could be in and out in maybe 30 minutes.  I thought I was simply creating a baseline mammogram because surely the calcifications would look the same as they did before, right?  What I didn't know was that I would be there for the next two and a half hours and walk out truly concerned that I might have cancer.

We quickly did the drill...smash, picture, smash, picture, smash, picture.  Really no big deal. This was my second time, and I was a pro at this.  But then, she said that she would have the radiologist take a look at the images, and she would be right back.  What? 

Now I am not very good with surprises. I am the child who snuck into my parents closet to see if I could find my Christmas presents! I even went as far as trying to open wrapped presents just enough to see what they were and tape them back shut. So what did I do?  Exactly! As soon as the door closed, I snuck over to look at my images on the screen.  I knew what the calcifications looked like on the last mammogram images, so I knew what I was quickly looking for. But what I saw made my stomach drop to the floor.  There were definitely more calcifications.  There was definitely something wrong.  So I ran back over to my seat and waited for her to return. 

The radiologist wanted to do an ultrasound. Would right now be okay? Well, No! I am on my lunch hour. I can't stay! I don't want to stay! But...I stayed.  I had to wait for about 20 minutes.  The Summer Olympic Games were on in the waiting area. Whenever I am anxious or nervous, I often find that humor is helpful.  I told the woman sitting next to me about how my husband hears the Olympics results on the radio each day, and then loves to spill the beans and ruin it for me at night. We laugh about it, but she seems nervous too. 
The ultrasound took a while. I was certain she had taken at least a hundred images.  My numb arm was certain of it too, as I had to hold it over my head the whole time! Now the radiologist had to look at the images.  It seemed like forever laying there in this dark room by myself, waiting and waiting.  This is one of the worst anxieties I have been through.  You lay there fighting any bad thoughts you have.  Pushing each one away as it comes. What if I have a lump? Push away! What if I have cancer? PUSH AWAY! Why is it taking so long? What if? What if?  Push away, push away. 

Finally, the radiologist came in.  She showed me images of a lump.  She said it was a small lump, but it was still a lump that wasn't there 6 months ago!  She explained that I needed to be scheduled for two biopsys.  One for the lump and one for the branching calcifications.  The earliest they could schedule it was in 4 days in Noblesville.  Wait that's Friday!?  I told them that there was no way I could do it on Friday!  I was having 100+ people at my house on Saturday for a family reunion.  I had taken Friday off work to get my house clean and get everything ready.  Couldn't we just schedule it for Monday?  She just looked at me and said, "I think you should keep this appointment on Friday."  Big sigh!  This could not be good!

The First Smashing

Last January, I got my first mammogram not long after I turned 41.  I admit, I was slightly nervous, not really knowing what to expect. It's a little hard to not be nervous after hearing from other women that "they were going to smash your breasts in ways you didn't know they could smashed!" Well that's horrifying! But for those of you who have not joined the 40's club, it is not as horrible as it sounds.  I'm not going to lie, it is awkward...extremely awkward!  I mean they are taking pictures of your smashed boobs! But it is relatively quick, only slightly uncomfortable...and extremely important! 

                                                                 

Now, they do not serve these                    Mammo-Grahams while you are getting a mammogram...but don't you think they should?!This would at least make it a little more fun!

Not long after my first mammogram, I received a letter telling me I should see my OB/GYN. They had found a small cluster of calcifications. Women often have breast calcifications. They are calcium deposits within the breast tissue. They will appear as tiny white spots on a mammogram. Most of the time, they are nothing to worry about.  So if they say you have them, don't panic, but don't ignore them.

I saw a breast specialist who told me that they were BI-RADS Category 3, which means they have a high probability of being benign and a
6 month follow-up mammogram was suggested.  Okay, so this seemed a little weird, but I did some research on calcifications and the BI-RADS Categories, and I felt okay with it. 
The important thing for me to remember was to go back and get another mammogram in six months.

For more information about calcifications, go to http://ww5.komen.org/uploadedFiles/Content_Binaries/806-03203a.pdf

Getting a Mammogram...Probably Saved My Life

Happy Birthday! You are 40 years old, and it is recommended that you start getting those annual mammograms. Seriously, do they realize how busy we are?! And now they want us to add one more thing to our busy lives? I work full time, and run my five children here, there, and everywhere. Do they realize how difficult it is to squeeze another appointment into my calendar?

Besides who wants to get a mammogram?  Who wants to go in and awkwardly let someone smash your boobs into pancakes and then take pictures?!  It's not that it is really that painful or anything. It is just so awkward!  So what makes us do it?  Why do we go ahead and schedule an appointment? We do it because we are scared...just ever so slightly fearful that we might get cancer. 

Cancer. Now just say it...say the word cancer ten times, right now out loud.  We simply just don't like the word. We don't like to say it, and we certainly don't like to think about it.  For many of us, it immediately reminds us of a loved one.  While there have been years of very successful research and treatments, it is still something to fear.  It is still taking loved ones from our lives. It is still making children sick.  It is just a mean and scary word.  It sneaks in when you least expect it. There is absolutely no way to be ready for it, no way to prepare yourself or your family. 

So even though I didn't really have "time," I went ahead and scheduled that awkward mammogram at 41 years old and... it probably saved my life! 

On August 7, 2012, breast cancer came knocking on my door, determined to rock my world.  I have decided to share my story to help keep everyone updated.  I hope it will inspire you to do the preventive measures that need to be taken.  And as I am walking into this whole cancer thing blindly, I am hoping that sharing my experiences will give others an inside peek to terms, tests, and treatments...just in case you yourself or maybe a loved one is told that they too have cancer.

First step ladies...schedule the mammogram! Today!