Lori's Lady Lumps Getting Dirty at the Dirty Girl Mud Run

I had the pleasure of getting dirty with my team of 30 wonderful women yesterday at the Dirty Girl Mud Run.  Several months ago, my friend Dawn told me she would like to put a team together for the run in my honor.  I never dreamed that we would have such a large team. 

For those of you who are not familiar with the Dirty Girl Mud Run, it is a 5K run and obstacle course with the added feature of MUD! You have crawl through the mud, climb over mud, wade through a muddy creek, slide into a mud pool and more. It goes on all day long with a new wave of women starting every 15 minutes.  Our wave started at 8:00 am which we all whined about beforehand...but in the end, I think we were all glad we were in the first wave.  After the run, you are covered in mud...mud in your hair, mud in your ears, mud in your shoes, and a few other places where you do not want mud to be! However, you do get a cute T-shirt, a necklace and one free beer...which yes, we drank at 10:00 am. 
 
I had such a fun day...one of the best days since my diagnosis.  You see, it wasn't just the women on my team that inspired me, but the thousands of women who were there to run to raise money for the fight against breast cancer.  I wasn't able to do the whole course as I had a chemo treatment a couple days before the run, and my expanders also put limits on what I am able to do.  So I am hoping my team will all come back and have some muddy fun with me again next year!
Love you girls!

You can see more pictures at   http://dirtygirlmudrunlorisladylumps.shutterfly.com/

Celebrating Mother's Day on Cancer's Road to Recovery

My wonderful mother who has taught me by example and given me so much!

     I woke up extra thankful this morning as my five children surrounded me with hugs and a delicious breakfast in bed. While Mother's Day always makes me feel so thankful for the women in my life, today was different. 
     I am so thankful to be alive, and that I was given a chance to beat the cancer that tried to invade my life.  When you become a mother with cancer, at first you can't breathe because you realize how much you have to lose. Upon hearing those dreadful words, I was prepared to do whatever I had to do to beat it and not miss a moment of my children's lives.  When I think about the fact that if I hadn't scheduled my mammogram when I did, if I had waited maybe even 6 months, this could have been a very different story. 
     I am also thankful for all of the women who are and have been blessings in my life, especially in the last 9 months! This shouldn't be a day dictated by Hallmark and the best "sales of the season."  This should be a day that we celebrate all the women in our lives whether they are our mothers, daughters, aunts, nieces, sisters, Godmothers or friends. The best gifts are not the ones you can buy. They are the gifts of your time together; loving, encouraging, and inspiring each other. 
     My Mother's Day wish...as much of an inconvenience as it may be in your busy life, and even though you feel like it would never happen to you, please take the cancer preventative measures that we are so blessed to have and encourage the other women in your life to do the same. 
    Happy Mother's Day!
 

This blog post is dedicated to the memory of my Grandmothers...

My Grandmother, Saloma, who I have missed terribly for the last 15 years. This woman's life is an amazing story of strength. She taught by example leading a simple Amish life, raising 10 children and becoming a grandmother to 66 children. What I wouldn't do for a conversation with her today.






My Grandmother, Mary Kathryne, who I never got a chance to meet as she passed away with Tuberculosis when my mother was 13 years old. And her three wonderful sisters who stayed strong in my mother's life and then as Grandmothers in mine.  Oh how I miss these women!

 

Chemo, Hair, and Surgery Update

Update....  I just finished #9 of 12 Taxol chemo treatments. I still have my hair although it is getting very thin on top.  I just wear hats everyday now because the longest of my hair is curly and still looks good with the hats. Thank goodness I had a ton of hair to begin with.  I still lose a small pile of hair everyday, which has slowed but gone on for five weeks now. It is emotionally draining and stresses me on what to do with it, as I just have to take it day by day. 
I have to say in general that my spirits aren’t what they have been. I am trying very hard to stay upbeat, but it has been a struggle the last couple of weeks. I’m exhausted. I’m emotionally worn out.  There are so many things that I just can’t do. And if you know me, you know that I am struggling with that! I really hate feeling so weak.
But the good news is...I only have three more Taxol chemo treatments and five more Herceptin treatments. We have moved my implant surgery to July so I can get some time to get my body back from the chemo. Let's all pray that by August 1st I can say I am done!  (Well besides the meds I take for five years which are not a big deal!) 

Thank you for all of your continued thoughts and prayers.  I am constantly surrounded by blessings from this journey.  And believe me, I count those blessings everyday. How can I complain when there are so many others whose struggles are worse?
Have a great weekend!

Breast Expanders...What are They and How Do They Work?

Breast Tissue Expander

What in world are breast tissue expanders and how exactly does that work? I answer these questions often. As many of you know, I am going through this process right now. Like so many others, I wasn't even aware that this was a possible step in breast reconstruction. I had my bilateral mastectomy on February 14, 2013. After my breast tissue was removed, my plastic surgeon put in tissue expanders. Expanders are implant like devices that are used to expand the breast tissue and muscle to eventually comfortably fit breast implants, creating a more refined breast shape and better symmetry.


When the tissue expanders are first positioned on the chest wall, they are partially filled with saline. A few weeks after surgery, the expansion or "fill'er ups" (as I called them) are started.  As you can see in the picture above, the expanders have a fill port that is built into the front. They are filled every week or two until you get to the desired size you would like.
I had five fill'er up appointments with one of my favorite nurses, Sharon. First she uses this tool in the top left picture that has a magnet
to find the exact location of the port and marks my skin with an "x." She then accesses this port with a needle through the skin and adds saline from those huge syringes in the bottom picture to the left. A typical fill is about 50 cc's of saline (an equivalent of 10 teaspoons), but is limited by the tightness of the skin. 

 

I would not describe the fill'er ups as painful, but there is a sensation of stretching and pressure during this procedure.  Most women find this is not too uncomfortable. Usually the following two days involve some discomfort with pressure or muscle soreness, nothing a little Advil won't help. 

The expanders do feel weird. They make you feel a little freakish and are slightly uncomfortable at times, so keeping a sense of humor is essential. They are heavy, hard, and have a bumpy strange shape to them.  I often joke that I feel like I actually have two stones in there! You learn to joke about having titanium boobs, cute cups, Barbie boobs, perky ta-tas…really the jokes can be endless. But the reality is that having breast expanders is difficult. Not only is it hard on your body, but it’s also hard on your mind, spirit, and sexuality. You've lost nerve endings in a large portion of your body.  I deliberated on whether to add this, but really, it is too funny not to add.  You have heard of phantom limbs, which are sensations felt even though a limb has been removed.  Well for the first couple of months, let's just say I could tell when it was cold!  Talk about strange!!

Breast Implant

I have just finished receiving my fill'er ups.  We will give the tissue and muscles two months to relax, and then I will have surgery in July. This is an outpatient procedure that involves exchanging the expanders for implants which will look similar to the picture on the right. 

Once upon a time, I said that if I ever had the money and a chance to have any plastic surgery, my wish would be to get a breast lift. Well I am getting a little more than a lift, and not in a way any of us would choose.  Although it is a silver lining...I guess we should be careful what we wish for.  ;)

 

Thank you Sharon for being such a great nurse, and your encouragement to write this blog.

Our new friendship means the world to me.

My Kids Are My Heroes Through It All

These five children are my heroes everyday!  I just can't even imagine life without them. They are all so encouraging and supportive of me.  Don't get me wrong...my battling cancer doesn't instantly make them perfect little angels.  They drive me crazy sometimes bickering and whining, but you'll have that. They make the messes that I have to continuously tell them to pick up. But they have been amazing through all of this. They have had to work together and make up for all the things that I cannot do right now. They can all cook and do laundry.  That doesn't mean they always want to do those things, but they can and they will.  But it is the extra little things that they do or say on their own each day that make them awesome!


Ok so I can't blame them for my hair falling out, although they often make me want to pull it out!

We couldn't go anywhere this spring break with my weekly chemo treatments and having to work.  So my kids were home all week reading tweets and seeing photos on Instagram of their friends having fun all week.  I felt a little bad for them but we will be going on vacation this summer. 



My chemo treatment was on Friday afternoon so I told them I would go work for two hours, then we would head down to Carmel and eat wherever they wanted.  We enjoyed a delicious lunch at Max & Erma's, where I was a server once upon a time.

After lunch, we went to see the house my dad and brother built and are finishing up for the closing.  The $1,000,000+ house is absolutely gorgeous, and did I mention huge? To give you an idea of the size...there are nine bathrooms and four separate staircases.  I lost my kids within minutes of being there!  But when I finally found them all, I took them to the theatre room where I found the closest thing to a beach for their spring break finale. They were not quite as amused as I was. ;)

Finally, we headed off to my chemo treatment.  I think we scared the nurses when we first showed up.  But we came armed with 3 dozen chewy chocolate chip cookies that Lydia made and we became their afternoon entertainment. 

I felt that it was important for my kids to come with me and see what "chemo treatments" actually were, and to see other people there getting treatments too.  I hope that this experience made it less scary for them, and will provide them the strength to be an encouraging and supportive friend if they would ever need to be in the future.   

This was a true blessing, to have them all there with me as my support team for the afternoon.  The most important thing I have learned through all of this is that I have to count all of the blessings it has brought to my life. Pain can change you, but that doesn't mean it has to be a bad change. No matter how bad you think life is at the moment, you have to be thankful because someone, somewhere is fighting something worse. I have been reminded of this a lot lately. My oncology nurse's husband unexpectedly passed away a couple of weeks ago.  And I have recently heard about two different families that have already lost a child to cancer and have both found out that their other child has an incurable cancer. These are types of pain I cannot imagine bearing.  We have to count our blessings everyday!  And this is the one gift that I hope I can show and help my children understand. 

Taxol Chemo Update

I have just finished my fifth of twelve weekly Taxol chemo treatments.  The treatments take about an hour and a half.  First I get a little bag of Benadryl which instantly makes me loopy.  Next I get a little bag of steroid, which makes me endlessly hungry for the next 24 hours.  Then I get a little bag of Zantac to help my stomach.  The bag of Taxol takes about an hour.  It is going better than I expected.  I can't do much but rest the following two days as I am exhausted and achy.  But I am able to work most days.

My hair has been falling out for almost two weeks now.  I lose a pretty decent pile of strands and strands of it everyday.  I tell you though, I had a head full of hair because while it has really thinned out, if you didn't know, you may not be able to tell.  I do pull it back and wear a hat everyday to contain it.  Otherwise, it is all over my shirt and desk all day!  Luke uses a pet hair roller on my shirt before I leave each day. As you can see he thinks it is quite funny!
The nurses and pharmacist at my treatment center said I should have lost it all by now, so they think there is a chance I won't.  I am not going to count on that, but I will let it give me a little hope! 

Thanks for all of your prayers!!

The Thought of Losing My Hair

Week 3 of Chemo...
As I continue to wait to see if and when my hair is going to fall out, I ran across this really interesting booklet on the internet that I am I really excited to share with you!

"I Couldn't Stand the Thought of Losing My Hair" Edited by Kathleen Avegno Bonie, Ph.D. and Kirsten York Harrell, Psy.D. 

In this booklet, 84 courageous women share their strength, their pain, their humor, and most importantly their feelings as they dealt with hair loss from chemo.

I wanted to share this with you for a couple reasons.  First of all, I think that many times, when a loved one or a friend is beginning a battle with cancer, chemo, and hair loss...we are lost for words to say.  We want to say the right thing, something that is going to make someone feel better.  This booklet shares helpful as well as hurtful reactions to the hair loss of others.  It really gives you a deep look into the how these women felt.

I am also hoping that you will please share this booklet with anyone who may be starting chemo and new realization that their hair is going to fall out.  As I read through this, I realized, like with most things in life, we all react to hair loss differently.  It was so gratifying to read comments from women that legitimized my feelings. When you are on the cancer roller coaster, so often, your feelings become overwhelming and confusing.  To read the words of other women who have felt the way you feel is so relieving.  Even with a huge support team around you...because you are the one fighting the battle, there are days you feel alone.  That loneliness fades for me as I remember that there are thousands of women out there walking in my shoes. 

So I thank these 84 women from around the country for sharing the encouragement that reminds me, I'm not the only one going through this.  I thank them for a new gift of strength they have given me.  My hope is that I can help others in the same way some day.  The joy comes from the continued support around me.  And the laughter has to just keep coming!
Link to booklet http://www.ppc-dayton.com/icstlmh_art1.html'



Hope, Joy and Laughter...
carry them with you wherever you go!













Thanks Katie of Cherished Memories for such a great photo session! https://www.facebook.com/cherishedmemoriesbykatie

Starting Chemo...The Search for Miss Wiggly

I believe that waiting to see if, when and how much of my hair is going to fall out is kind of like Ben and my boys (who are loyal Purdue fans) waiting to see if Indiana University will win the National Tournament or just how far they will go. 

I am not going to lie to you, the thought of losing my hair sickens me. But I have a new friend, Miss Wiggly.  She is quietly waiting on her stand in my bedroom to keep her fluffed and beautiful.  I have asked her not to stare much at me right now when I walk into the room.  Our bond isn't that strong yet...we just met a week ago. And there is always that chance that I may not even need her. You see, my hair loss is unpredictable.  They say that I could lose a little hair, a few clumps of hair, or possibly... probably all of it.

I started my first of twelve weekly Taxol chemo treatments on March 7.  My friend Becky went with me.  God love her, she was trying to help me deal with the thoughts of losing my hair.  I told her that I would rather vomit everyday than lose my hair.  Now I know...that was an absurd statement, but you know, when you are dealing with cancer and it's challenges, you make many absurd statements.

Now throughout this process, I have always felt God by my side.  And once again, there He was.  I met two wonderful women at my first infusion. Julie has cancer and was doing her treatment accompanied by her friend Kristi. It turns out that they grew up with my husband's cousins in a small town a couple hours away.  It is a "small world" people!  And God is always bringing the right people into our lives for a reason.

They asked me if I was thinking about having a "head shaving party."  Of course, I said, "Uh, No!"  As Julie excitedly told  me about hers, Kristi wips off a wig to show us that she had shaved her head as well!  They both had wigs on, and I had no clue.  They told me of a great place to look at wigs, Beauty 4 U in Castleton.   They said it was the place to go, and convinced me that the sooner the better.  In a matter of minutes of conversation, Julie and Kristi's inspriation had changed me.  So when we got into the car to head home, I looked at Becky and said, "Ok, so I would rather get a wig than vomit everyday."  She smiled as she said, "Now we are finally getting somewhere!"



This is only a small portion of choices!

So two days later, even though I really didn't feel up to it, three friends, went with Lydia and I wig shopping at Beauty 4 U.  What a great store! They had hundreds of wigs...too many choices really!



This was her favorite.... do I have to let her become a teen-ager!?

As we all began to pick up wigs, we were immediately told, no more than three wigs!!  WHAT? Pick three wigs out of all of these!!! But I easily found Miss Wiggly, and we all agreed that she looked the best. So I bought her, and she is now sitting in my room....waiting. Waiting for me to lose my hair or not lose my hair, and maybe evene a better name. I have told her that if she is the jinx that makes me not lose my hair, I promised to donate her to someone who needs her.                                                                                        
Hair or no hair, this is the crimson and black hair/hat I will be wearing for each game! Go Hoosiers!!
  


Keep Calm and Hurdle On

As most of you know, I live in a small town.  And what happens in small towns? News travels quickly! And like a good ol' game of telephone, the story changes a bit as it goes down the line.  So I decided the best way to share my journey is with this blog...the good and the bad. 

As most of you know, I had my bilateral mastectomy on February 14th.  Recovery has really gone well!  I have visited with both surgeons, and they are both very pleased with how everything looks. My plastic surgeon has placed expanders in to help stretch my tissue and skin for a future implant surgery.  My cancer surgeon was pleased with the tissue removal. 

I visited with my wonderful oncologist, Dr. Miller, today which brings me to that next hurdle on my track we need to talk about.  The removed scar tissue from the original cancerous tumor still contained a few live cancer cells.  Now while they are gone from my body and my margins are clean, and my lymph nodes clean; I need what Dr. Miller and I will call "cancer be gone insurance". Since there were a few live cancer cells in the tissue removed, there is no gaurantee that one rowdy, little rebellious cancer cell or two didn't escape through some hidden route unaware to us.  So unfortunately for any of those little guys that might have thought they got away, I am going to have to do 12 weeks of low dose toxal chemo treatments. As you can imagine, I am not very happy about this, but the future is important to me and I am not missing a thing!  Plus I have a very important doctor's retirement party to attend in how many years Dr. Miller? ;) (BTW...She is close to  my age)

Now like all of the hurdles I have come up against in the last 7 months, this one looks tall and scary as I approaac,h but, we can do this!   12 weeks will go by quickly, the last 27 sure have! We will deal with them as they come. With the low dose, there is a good chance that the side effects won't be too bad. Nothing is more important than making sure that this body of mine is cancer free now and forever!  So look out hurdle #?? (what number is this one?) Here I come!

So please say a prayer for me as a I start this new chapter today!

Cancer Free Me

Well I am excited to share very important life changing events have happened here in the last two weeks! I am bummed that I have not been able to get an updated post on here in two weeks!  I would sit down and try to write something, but my pain and meds would just not let me focus on what I was trying to type.  But now I am coming out of the clouds, and feel like a I am thinking clearer. However, I am not 100% sure my family would agree with that!

I had my bilateral mastectomy on Thrusday, February 14.  Happy Valentine's Day to me!  The surgery went very well. It was a long day as surgery days usually are.  After our one hour drive, Ben and I arrived at Indiana University Hospital at 7:30 am.  Surgery was scheduled for 9:30 am, and they had me ready to go.  I felt like a walking white board for a while as both surgeons made their marks. And as you can see, Ben sent me off with a little heart as well. 

Unfortunately, my operating room wasn't ready for me until close to 11:00 am. So we had a lot of time to pass waiting for my turn.

The surgery took about four hours.  The first I remember waking up in a recovery room was around 5:00 pm.  Soon I was moved to a private room where I stayed for the night.  Ben and I were home by noon the next day.  They don't keep you very long.

  As most of you know, I took part in a clinical study where I had neoadjuvant treatments for 24 weeks before surgery. I have been doing Herceptin infusions every three weeks with a trial drug, along with a few other necessary estrogen receptor blocker drugs.

And now I am excited to say that the cancer is gone. I am so proud to say that God gave me an opportunity to use my unfortunate cancer to help this extraordinary continued research and improve the future treatments of HER2+ and Estrogen+ breast cancer....
for the next group of women who are diagnosed and
FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR DAUGHTERS!
     

 

I cannot THANK everyone enough for all of the well wishes and prayers before and after my surgery! I have the most amazing family and friends.  I just feel so blessed! I am doing well..good days and bad days.  As you know, it is extremely difficult for me to sit still but I am trying to do my best!  I have expanders for now...more news on them later!
Thank you Everyone!

My New Chapter

 

I just want to take a second and thank everyone for your prayers as I head into surgery tomorrow.  I am having a double mastectomy.  I will give an update as soon as I am feeling better.  I have received so many heartwarming messages from friends and family.  I am so thankful for the wonderful support system around me.

Here's to my new chapter!

How Do We Tell Our Children I Have Cancer?

Telling my children that I had cancer was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Upon my diagnosis, I was instantly anxious.  What is the best way to tell them?  How are they going to react?  How am I going to make them feel like everything is going to be okay? 

For those of you who do not know, my husband, Ben and I have five children...Jake 16, Luke 14, Levi 13, David 11 and Lydia 9. With five different personalities, I was likely going to get five different reactions. As you can imagine, we are busy...very busy!  Our children are in three different schools, and at the time, they were on five different soccer teams.  And of course, the list and the schedules go on and on. If it wasn't for my iPhone calendar alerts, I am not sure I would know where my children all were at any given moment. So as you can imagine, just finding the best time to sit down and talk about this was a challenge.

Ben and I felt it was important to tell our children right away.  It would be way too easy for them to hear it from someone else.  And never underestimate children, they generally realize when something is wrong. We found that out when I told our oldest, Jake.  He hardly seem surprised, as he said he was already suspicious.  We decided to tell him separately because of his age.  We felt we could explain things to him in more of an adult language.
 
We told the other four children together.  I was extremely anxious as they came in and sat around the table. I looked at each one of them and said a short prayer in head.  I didn't want to add this to their lives.  It is so important not to scare them.  We took a very strong, matter of fact approach.  We explained what cancer was in terms that they would understand.  We assured them that cancer was not contagious, and that I was not going to die.  We told them that we would keep them informed about what was going on and about any changes.  Ben and I wanted to really make sure that the kids realized that we were open to any questions, whenever they had them. 

After we explained everything, the four of them all sat quietly for a moment.  Suddenly, Levi says, "So, I have a question."  I thought...ok this is good!  He continues, "Does this mean that I can wear one of those I Love Boobies bracelets to school without getting in trouble?"  Suddenly, all four of them bursted into laughter!  For a moment, I sat there shocked.  This wasn't how I thought this would turn out.  Why were they all laughing?  But then I realized that they were all somewhat like me.  Sometimes the best way to deal with difficult situations, is to throw in a little humor. 

We explained to them, that we were going to have to work as a family, and there would be times that this wasn't going to be easy. While we have made attempts at slimming down the amount of activities everyone is involved in, that is really hard to do!  I am happy that they have been able to carry on with their lives. We told them that there would be times when I would need help when I don't feel well. They all pitch in. But most importantly, they are not afraid to ask questions.  When someone randomly asks a question, we stop what we are doing, and we talk about it. 

They also are not afraid to share our story with others. During October,  they encouraged others to "Go Pink" and support breast cancer awareness, even raising some money for my Oncologist's research. 

I hope none of you ever have to do this.  But if you do, remember this...it is so very hard to tell your children bad news, but your children are your strength.  They give you the love and support you need to get through each day. They remind you what you are fighting for!  And though it isn't the path we would choose for our children, I know that they have grown so much from this. And in the end, I think they will be stronger people because of it.
 
I am so very proud of how my children!!

My cousin found these helpful links for us before we told the kids.  I wanted to include them for you to share with anyone who might be going through a cancer diagnosis.
Family Connections: Talking to Your Kids about Cancer
Helping Children When a Family Member Has Cancer

Goals...Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond

Thanks so much everyone for your continued thoughts, prayers and wishes. I am continuing to work my way through everything...heading into the new year.  I feel very positive about 2013!  I think a lot of great things are going to happen. 

I am not really one for making New Year's resolutions. I mean really, let's admit it, we aren't going to stick to those silly resolutions. We never do! We all want to lose weight, we all want to exercise more, we all want to eat healthier...blah, blah, blah.

I will be honest...I have more than enough moments where I grab some fast food, or gorge myself with cheesecake, or grab yet another 32 oz. gas station pop only because I am feeling sorry for myself.. because I "have cancer."  Well boo-hoo Lori, that is just plain silly!  But isn't that what we do, make excuses for unhealthy habits?   What I have found for me is that the better I feel about myself, the more likely I am to take better care of myself. 

So this year, I have decided to make some goals.  Goals to help me feel better about myself and goals to stay healthy. I have started a list on my phone so it will give me pop-up reminders.  The list is not complete, of course, because I think it needs to be ever changing.  Some goals will be met, some goals may need modified, and new goals always need to be added.  Here are a few of my goals I would like to share...
*Take a moment everyday to thank God for the blessings that breast cancer ended up giving me, and thank God for all of the people who have touched my life and prayed for me since my diagnosis.
*Joining Ann Curry in doing 26 random acts of kindness.  Check out helpothers.org for great ideas!
*Become a volunteer for American Cancer Society's "Reach to Recovery" which is a peer support program where breast cancer survivors offer comfort and support to those who are coping with their diagnosis. 
*Participate on the Dirty Girl Mud Run team created in my honor
*Okay, okay...and only ONE Coke Zero a day!  ONE!
    
I want to challenge you to make your own list of goals. Start small, see if it works for you.
AND whether you make a list or not...there are TWO very important goals I want all of you to make this year for yourself! 
#1 Do monthly breast exams.  Here are two websites to help you.
http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-self-exam
http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/self_exam/bse_steps
#2 Schedule your annual mammogram

We have to continue to not only educate each other but encourage each other to take care of ourselves. 
Take care of yourself and have a happy and flourishing 2013!
Enjoy the special moments!!

2012 Be Gone

It was just a couple of days into 2012 when I called my late friend, Karen King. After swapping a few stories about some unusually awkward moments, I said, "Wow Karen, I don't know what is going on, but I'm thinking that AWKWARD might just be the word of the year for 2012. She replied quickly with an "Oh Lord, it has to get better." But you know, it never really did....especially for dear Karen who passed away in September.

Don't get me wrong, there were some wonderful things that happened in 2012. I always count my blessings! And I learned that the goodness of people outshines everything else. But the good had a hard time outweighing the bad...not just for me, but for a lot of people.

I am pretty sure that I knew more people that went to be with our Heavenly Father in 2012 than in any other year of my life...and maybe even quite a few years combined. Our parish saw more funerals than it had for several years.

Four women from our parish, including myself, were diagnosed with breast cancer within a short time period. I also just learned that a nearby neighbor has been diagnosed as well. Along with this, were a few scares of mammogram call backs of some other women close to me.

So this, thankfully being one of the last days of 2012, has led me to typing this post on my little qwerty touch keyboard on my iPhone. And you think..."that seems silly". Why the phone? Well you see, I have been wanting to write this blog most of the afternoon. But here is the series of unfortunate events that led me to the phone.

We bought a wireless printer so we can print from all of our devices. When Ben connected it to our 6 year old desktop, it challenged him, and it won. Now our WiFi will not work on any device except for the desktop. I fought this for a while, trying to find a solution. No luck. I thought I would go ahead and type it on the desktop. However, the keyboard drawer is broken, and it kept falling in my lap. I finally gave up, thinking that maybe I should just be relaxing, as I have been fighting a mean cold for days. So I sit down to watch television. I get about halfway into a good show, and of course, the antenna decides not to work. Seriously!!

So I resort to my phone as my means to write this blog. But hold on a minute...Now I have walk off a foot cramp.

Less than 27 hours! Let's get through them, and hope for a great new start in 2013! I am thinking it has to be a great year for me. 13 IS my lucky number! Some of the best birthdays I have had were on Friday the 13th's.

Let's find a way to hold on to one another, and pull each other through the rough times. Keep doing random acts of kindness. Keep praying. Keep counting your blessings. And always keep smiling!!

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Cancer's Blessing of a Friend

Today, I want to celebrate the life of my friend, Toni Wood, who lost her life to cancer and went to heaven on December 8, 2012.  As I sat with many others honoring the life of Toni, I felt so privileged to have been given a chance to get to know such an amazing woman, even though it was for a very short time.

I met Toni several years ago, when her son Weston was on the high school soccer team with my nephew.  My boys were ball boys for the home games.  They really looked up to Weston.  During the last game of the season, I set out to meet Toni, because I wanted to tell her how great I thought her son was. I didn't see her again for several years, but I knew she has been diagnosed with cancer. 

Not long after I was diagnosed with cancer, we connected again.  I enjoyed chatting with Toni as she became a source of encouragement for me, always letting me know she was praying for me.   I will never forget how supportive and helpful she was to me ....giving me strength as her fading. 

Rest in Peace Toni
You will be missed by many.
I am so thankful for the gift of four months we had to support each other.
I think you knew I was going to be okay, your words are always with me.
"I will be praying for you. Just remember to keep your faith and trust in God. The doctors will figure out your right recipe and get you fixed."

Birthday #42

My 42nd birthday turned out to be a most amazing day, thanks to a lot of really great friends! 

Three of my dear friends, spent the day with me. The morning started with a short shopping trip, followed by a fun Italian lunch.  Then we were off to hospital for an infusion and doctor appointment. 

Now these girls make me laugh...a lot!  I think we were lucky they were able to give us a private room because we might have been kicked out of the "open pod". 

Would you look at this cheesecake?  Just look at it!!

 
The day got even better when we got back to my house and we all sat around the kitchen table with my family and laughed while we ate a feast. When I walked into the house, I found my kitchen island full of goodies!! Pizzas, breadsticks, my favorite Mexican restaurant's chips, salsa and guacamole, and the big bonus...cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. Not to mention an assortment of gifts and cards.  And all of this took place in a very clean house because, you see, three Cleaning Fairies came that day! 

 

 

Thank you everyone who played a part in my special day!!!

My Tucson Getaway

Christmas in the desert!

Every once in a while, don't we all need a getaway...a few days where we don't have to work, run the kids everywhere, cook meals, do laundry, and help with homework...a few days where we are the ones who are taken care of and pampered.  Yes, yes I do believe we all need this.  And I am a lucky girl as I got four relaxing days in Tucson with two of my favorite cousins!

A fun lunch at a super cute restaurant called Elivira's in Tubac, Arizona.  The whole restaurant was decorated with glass.

We visited the beautiful, historic mission, San Xavier del Bac that was founded by Father Kino in 1693.  The sky was the most amazing blue that I have ever seen!

Susan and Dave Thank you for treating me like a princess !!

My Cleaning Fairies

fair·y  /ˈfe(ə)rē/  Noun: A small imaginary being form that has magical powers.

     Are fairies real?  The belief in the existence of fairies originally began with the fairies of medieval Western European folklore which later became known as Fairy Tales. For many, many years, little girls have enjoyed dreaming about these mythological creatures and their magical pixie dust.

 

     Of course in our youthful days, we imagined what the tooth fairy must look like, and the magical place where she took all of our teeth. (Ugh, not such a magical thought now, is it?)

 

     I think we have all probably had at least one moment in our lives when we wished for our Fairy Godmother to appear with her little wand...waving it about.  Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo!  And suddenly all of our wishes and dreams would come true.

 

     So do real fairies exist?

Yes, certain fairies do exist.  How do I know this?  I know this because they have been showing up to clean my house for the past ten weeks. Do my fairies have wings and wands and pixie dust?  No, at least I don't think so, but they have magically walked into a difficult time of my life and took care of a household chore that I was struggling to accomplish.

     After my first treatment, a dear friend of mine, who lives in California, asked me what my biggest obstacle at that moment. And as I looked around me where seven people's stuff surrounded me creating what looked very much like an obstacle course, I told her cleaning the house.  Since she was miles away, and couldn't help me, she scheduled cleaning fairies to come each week.  With my husband working fall harvest 70-80 hour weeks, and the kids on five different soccer teams, I cannot begin to tell you how much this has meant to me.  Not only have these fairies saved me the time and energy, they have made it possible for me to come home from my treatments to a clean house...a house I can actually relax in!   

My cleaning fairies have become one of my greatest gifts since my diagnosis. And I hope my fairies know, whoever they are, how very thankful I am for them! 

Blessings in Disguise

I can't believe it is just a few days shy of three months since my mammogram and two months since my first infusion. A lot has happened in three months!  Now as I look back, it is overwhelming to think about all that I went through.  I have found now that the storm has calmed, and I am into a treatment pattern...things have settled down, and the blessings start appearing all around me.

I have had 3 of 18 Herceptin infusions. I will have surgery in Febraury. I go to IU Simon Cancer Center once every three weeks for the infusions, as well as, an appointment with my oncologist.  I am fortunate and so thankful to have a long list of friends and family who want to take me. It is two hours of travel and about an hour to get the infusion, so each trip has become a blessing of time I get to spend with important people in my life. 

I have an assortment of side effects...fatigue, achy joints, achy muscles, stomach issues, weak "jello" legs, hot flashes,and a combination of teen-age acne and dry skin at the same time. I have good days and bad days.  The blessing is that it could be so much worse. I do not have to go through traditional chemotherapy and all the side effects that come with it. 

A couple of days ago, I had an opportunity to visit a domestic violence shelter for women and children.  As the caseworker took us on a tour of the facility, she shared so many touching stories...some with happy endings and some with very sad endings.  As we were walking down the hall, we past a mother and her three beautiful children. In that moment, when I looked with my tired eyes into this mother's tired and sad eyes, I was suddenly thankful that I had breast cancer. Sometimes, we have to put things into perspective. The blessing is the realization that things could always be a lot worse.

Don't get me wrong, cancer is mean and mentally painful. Without the support of the people in my life, I would not be able to count my blessings.  There is not enough that I can say about my wonderful husband and amazing children who have helped me through my bad days and nights, and share the joy of the good days. But I am also so blessed with friends and family that have surrounded me with love, prayers, and encouragment. And to them we continue to say...

A Car Wash, A Giving Community, and Some Airtime

I work for the Tipton County Foundation. A couple of weeks ago, Joe, a Foundation board member, approached me about a fundraiser he was planning. He works for a local car dealership, and they were organizing a car wash to raise money for breast cancer awareness. Joe wanted to give the money to the Women's Fund at the Foundation for me to find a program to put this money to good use. I was so touched that they were doing this, and I was going to be a part of it!

So last Saturday, the community pulled together and had one of Dan Young GM Center's highest profitting car washes. Tragesser Pumpkin Farm brought a truck load of pumpkins to give away to children.  White's Meat Market donated hot dogs and apple cider. But best of all, the Dan Young employees were there dressed in pink and ready to wash vehicles! 


Dan Young's owner, Rick Brown cooking the hot dogs

Pumpkins

The fun part was when DJ, Allan James from WWKI arrived to do live radio broadcast throughout the morning, and he asked ME to do the broadcast with him!  This provided me a chance to discuss the importance of early detection and encourage women to schedule a mammogram, as well as, tell my story!  What an amazing opportunity!   

Thank you Joe Cottingham, Rick Brown, and all the Dan Young GM Center Tipton employees!  I am so glad they let me hang out even though I own a Honda and don't listen to country music!